LW - North Carolina - I flew up to Baltimore on July 30 (our wedding anniversary) and took a cab to the U-Haul rental shop. U-Haul didn't have a truck. They had the reservation but no trucks. That in itself is a long and sordid story for another time and place. After calling the seller (he was very accommodating and sympathetic to my plight) and taking a cab to his home, he lent my an old helmet and expired tag. It was a beautiful day. I had on jeans and t-shirt and leather loafers, no socks. I had not given any thought to the weather, thinking that I would be driving a truck all day, nor had I given any thought to bringing proper riding gear. South of DC things went wrong. First, I hit a traffic jam. While almost literally walking the bike I noticed dark clouds on the horizon. Thirty minutes later, while still half walking, half riding in the traffic jam it started raining. After a while the traffic jam let up and I made it to just outside of Richmond when I hit another traffic jam. Again I half walked, half rode this traffic jam for what seemed like forever with the rain not letting up one bit. >From Baltimore to where I live in NC should have taken 6 or 7 hours at the very most, but after 5 hours on the road, three of it in the rain, two of it in traffic jams, I was still in VA, soaked to the bone. As the sun started setting and with the rain not letting up I started feeling the cold. I had finally gotten through the traffic jams and was on the move but the wind chill factor on soaking wet clothes and wet skin at 70MPH was starting to take its effect on me. I could feel my legs cramping and my hips cramping, but I kept going. When I pulled off to get gas I was so cold that when I went to put my feet down at the stop I almost couldn't get my legs unlocked to get my foot down and almost dropped the bike right there. It was then that I knew I would not make it home that night. I found a motel, used the pay phone in the lobby and while I stood in a huge puddle of water I called home. After checking into the room, I peeled off the wet clothes and laid them across the heater unit by the front window and cranked it as high as it would go. I took the longest, hottest shower I've ever taken in my life to try to warm up. I've never been so cold as I was that July night. When I woke up the next morning and looked out the window, it was cloudy but not raining. Hot Damn! Maybe it'll let up enough for me to get home. I got directions to the local Wal-Mart and rode there to buy some more clothes. I got a sweatshirt and a Dickies worksuit. It didn't say it was waterproof but I was optimistic that I wouldn't need it. I rode about 10 miles with the skies looking better and lighter when I rode into the rain. Just a heavy mist at first but then a steady downpour. One of them all day rains. I was determined to block it out and just get home. By the time I got to Burlington, NC I was soaking wet again and starting to shiver again. Bad luck, bad living, bad karma, I don’t know but it quit raining about 15 minutes from home.

Eagerrick - Ohio - I was returning to wv/oh from a 2 day stay at Deaks Gap. Running out of time to get back home I took the Interstate route. Just before I got to Jellico Mountain it started drizzling rain. I pulled into a gas station where there were other bikers putting on their wet suits. This one rider pulled up and said it was only raining for about a mile and it was dry. This one guy and I looked at each other and he said man it's hot and I think this will just cool things off. We took off and man it started raining, I mean so hard that everyone started pulling off the side of the road. I got behind this big truck and for 35 miles I was fighting to see and was soaked to the bone. We ran at 60 mph and finally the sun started shinning. I started to pull over but decided to just air dry myself. When I got home I was so blue from my leathers, but the memory was so good, do it again in a heart beat

Moonhanger - Texas - Zero six thirty, 37 degrees, 8 riders on their trusty ponies and one cage, mounted up and ready to ride. This ride has the resemblance of a cavalry or mounted rifle unit of yesteryear, leaving out at early dawn for battle. This battle however, is the “Battle of Longview”, being held in a political setting in Austin, 600 plus miles away. What’s at stake? The future of the American Legion Riders in Texas is at stake. Political rounds have been fired from far away and, Chapter 58 is taking the battle to the source.
 
As the riders check their packs and fill their tanks, one can hear the same motto which has been adopted by the rest of the country in the aftermath of September 11th being said; “Let’s Roll”. In addition to the cause at hand, I personally want to dedicate this ride to all the soldiers of the “War between the States”, who paid the supreme sacrifice.
 
Departing the sanctity of our home turf of El Paso, we rolled out at 0700. With an early morning chill and the smell of victory we wanted, this band of riders began the long ride to Austin. As if this trip would not be interesting enough in its’ own right, we had a “FNG” in the pack. An, almost overwhelming, challenge was facing us.
 
Within the first 75 miles, we had four events occur. The first event which happened was, I lost the rear shifter lever off my pony. At highway speed, this piece of chromed steel bounced past numerous vehicles. The next event which happened had the potential for a rather serious aftermath. Our FNG started to have some difficulty. I was following in the “Tail Gunner” position, I don’t know what caused the incident but, our FNG nearly hit a guardrail at interstate speed. Shortly after that, at a Border Patrol checkpoint, there was a scene right out of the old Laugh-In show. The guy who would ride the tricycle and fall over, was re-created by our FNG. As our FNG pulled into the staging lane, the rider and bike just simply fell over, only a minor sprain and pride injury though. These two events together caused the first delay of several. Shortly after we got back onto the road, Iguana Don lost his balls on the highway. Rolling down the road, his brass balls, which were tied together by a red ribbon on the back of his bike, decided to come loose and they too; went onto the road. As they were bouncing in between vehicles, down the center lane, brought a lot of laughter to our bunch. The overall feeling is, the enemy is already firing long shots at us.
 
Ozona, Texas. Nothing more than a dot on the map, became a point in our history not to be forgotten. Several hours and 300 miles into our venture, we’re pulling into this sleepy little town for fuel. As we enter the gas station, The Duke hit a curb that wasn’t painted and did some serious damage to his pony. He cracked his crankcase. With his pony standing at the fuel pump, the oil just drained out onto the ground. As several of us all looked, an onlooker came by and told us the same thing had happened to him. If the station would have had a repair shop, one could easily draw conclusions. With dismay glooming over us, we were really thinking we would have to find a way to send his scooter back to El Paso, a distance of 300 miles. Well, the Duke is rather determined; he found a store and gathered up some Fast Weld. Not knowing if it would work or not, generous amounts were applied to the underside of his pony. Within 20 minutes, the stuff was hardening and sealing the damage. At this point I noticed I had a crack in the weld on the front portion of my crash bar mount. Well, if Fast Weld will work on the Duke’s crank case, it sure as hell would work on my frame. So, I applied a swab of this stuff, looking kind of like bubble gum holding a leak, it worked on that too. Two and a half hour delay and, we’re back on the road again. This was another long shot from the enemy.
 
As we got off the interstate and started heading into the enemy’s territory, they sent us rain and later, fog. Daylight hours had gone behind us and we were entering darkness on a secondary road, in the rain and fog. Adding to our worry, was the fact, this is deer country. With about 150 miles left, we started this venture too. We were running behind schedule and, this was only to delay us even more. As we traveled further into the Hill Country the temperatures dropped and the fog came. We pushed on into the darkness, rain and fog, only to be forced to slow our speed even more. Finally, we got within distance of Austin and, were checking our directions, which I had retrieved from the internet. Well don’t you know, the directions were okay however, the enemy had started road construction in Austin, therefore we couldn’t find the hotel. It was located on “Ben White Road”. After a while and a sequence of wrong turns, the name of Ben White Road became its’ own set of humor. It seemed, everything we were looking for was on this road but, do you think we could find anything without difficulty? No. Finally, 17 hours, 604 miles later we checked into our hotel which, lead to two days of some of the most memorable events, ever.
 
The purpose of our venture was, to have a show of force and, make sure the muckity-mucks at the state level of the American Legion understood we meant business. In doing so, we traveled to Austin to attend the semi-annual Departmental Executive Council meeting. Have you ever felt like the redheaded step child at a family reunion? The meeting was held at a very high class hotel, with all in coats and ties, except for us. We rolled into the parking lot, walked to the lobby dressed in black leather, Cavalry Hats and Spurs and “Colors”; the looks we received were unbelievable. There was even a covert attempt to keep us from going into the meeting but, that was unsuccessful. Throughout the day we mingled around and returned that evening for a social. Initially, the people were very curious about us and, rather intimidated. Before it was over, we had them in our hands, even the perpetrator of the whole incident. As a matter of fact, he bought the remaining patches we had for “The Battle of Longview.” The end result is, the American Legion is recognizing the American Legion Rider program in Texas and, to be run in the manner its’ been run. We are heroes. We already had a name as being a little wild but, after this trip; we set an example for all to follow.
 
After we had spent 17 hours riding to Austin and, we got checked into our rooms, we decided to get some chow. It was 0300 and we were going to the local IHOP. Do you know who all goes to IHOP at 0300? Well we found a few. As we entered this fine establishment, we were waiting for a table large enough. The hostess asked us if we wanted some coffee, I said yes ma’am. So she brought me a cup and ignored the rest. While this was going on, this young lady (I think), was verbally and physically admiring Gypsy’s “chaps” and, she asked if anyone wanted to see her tattoo. He jeans were skin tight and she appeared to be 5 foot 4 laying down. She stood up and, proceeded to pull her jeans down. As they came down, the rolls of fat poured out like silly putty and there…was this swatch of cloth, buried in the crack of her butt. It was the remainder of a thong. This became to be too much and, we talked and laughed about this for the remainder of the trip.
 
No good trip, with a bunch of bikers, goes without funny and memorable events. We paired or tripled up on rooms; Gypsy, Hillbilly and, me were sharing a room. Well ole Hillbilly went a jammed up the ole porcelain bowl this first morning. Guess he hadn’t seen a flusher for awhile. The rest of the time, we all spent laughing so hard our sides hurt.
 
Time has come for us to return to El Paso and, we’re looking forward to it. Clear blue skies and warm temps, yes sir, that’s what we want. We also learned, Master Blaster, our Sergeant at Arms was leaving because he was moving. So after a few miles, he peeled off and headed north to Alabama; A sad moment. As we pulled out at 0700, it was raining and it was foggy. This slowed our trip from the get go. We proceeded on through all the weather and just kept trudging. As the day wore on, the rain continued all through the day, and now into the night. As we made our trip west, we started climbing in elevation and, with that, temperatures started dropping. Now don’t get the feeling it was warm, cause it wasn’t. It was only in the 30’s anyway. But, by 2300 the temperature was down to 20 degrees and we were hitting some black ice. This was having a tremendous toll on our FNG. The novice rider was freezing, wet, exhausted and scared. This all made for a very dangerous situation. We ended up stopping at a rest stop to consider some options. The skies had finally cleared and, one could really appreciate the west Texas night sky. The sky appeared to have millions of stars, each of which you could just reach out and touch. Then we saw something we couldn’t figure out; a long black spot in the sky. Since no one could really figure out what it was I determined it must have been an astrological space turd. Yes sir, right there in front of us.
 
After delaying at the rest stop for awhile, we decided to get into Van Horn and hold up for the night. It was late and we knew our FNG couldn’t make it; we also knew the FNG could not safely ride. There were already a series or dangerous events which had happened. We found a place for 30 bucks a night and, we soon found out why it was only 30 bucks. I think the trains came through the closet and, the porcelain bowl wasn’t even attached to the floor.
 
As we stopped overnight, Loco and The Duke decided to ride on to El Paso. This was not a decision we wanted to hear because of the element of danger. However, they did and they did make it safely. The remainder of us rolled into El Paso about 1600 the following day.

MadDog - Minnesota - It was our annual Spam Run. We ride from the Twin Cities (Minneapolis/Saint Paul) Minnesota to the Spam plant in southern Minnesota just a few miles from the Iowa boarder. We met for breakfast at our usual spot. It was a warn sunny day. The weather called for a CHANCE of showers. We pulled out at 10am headed south. The plan was to hit as many back roads, twisties, as possable on our way down. About 50 miles south it started getting dark. We could see the showers and steared around them. For a while anyway. After about 100 miles we were in the rain and there was no getting aroud it. Storms we moving in from the south. It was now a down pour so we looked for shelter. We found a provillian in a park and pulled in there. We hung out there for about an hour. It didn't look like it was going to stop raining anytime soon. We voted, go on or go back. We went on. We made it to the Spam plant, did a tour, bought a few items, ate some Spam and headed back to the Twin Cities. In all we rode 300 miles in the rain. Oh and did I mention it was a cold rain. But never-the-less we all had a great time.

Pooh - Tennessee - Labor Day weekend 2003. I had planned to ride into North Carolina to get on the Blue Ridge Parkway and take it all the way up and then ride into Washington D.C. and then back home to Nashville, TN. All started off great until I got to Cherokee, NC when the sky opened up and soaked me to the bone before I could get off the road. I donned my leather jacket and headed out to get ahead of the storm. It just got worse and I had to stop and put a face shield on my half helmet. I kept going and got ahead of the storm just as I reached the BRP. I continued on until I reached Canton, NC. where I got a room and spent the night watching the weather channel and re-routing my trip. I decided to go south because all the heavy rain was going north. The next day as I headed south, I didn't run into any rain. The roads were awesome and so was the scenery. I rode down to Georgia and then weaved my way up to Deals Gap (this is where I earn my "Rolling Blunder" patch, but that is another story). Deals Gap was wet, and for my first time, was a lot of fun too. At the overlook at the end I stopped and saw a big storm in the distance. As I rode out of the mountains and toward Maryville, I decided to head home early. This is where things got interesting. From Knoxville to Nashville there was a line of storms with heavy rain, high winds, some hail, and to top all of that off, it was sprouting tornadoes. Of course I had no knowledge of this until I got home 3 hours later. My girlfriend was worried sick. The last I had talked to her was when I decided to come home. I was soaked both at the beginning of my trip and again all the way home. I bought rain gear shortly after this trip.

Chap 58 - American Legion Riders - TX - August in the southwest; hot, a little humid from the monsoonal flow but, no rain like on either coast. Chapter 58, Texas American Legion Rider's Association from El Paso, Texas decided to take a day for our own "Fun Run". After performing so many poker runs and other benefit runs, we felt like we deserved it. So, we chose to go to Sun Spot, NM to visit the National Sun Observatory. Normally, the skies here are beautifully blue and when it does rain, you can watch it rain, elsewhere, not on top of you. So, at 7:00 A.M. 15 of us started out and guess what. The ole weather man says 50% chance of rain. No problem, that's a 50% chance it won't rain, right? Before I go any further, I am giving our RC, the official road name as “Rainman”. It seems, every long ride we take, it rains. And did it ever rain on our parade today. We we’re thirty miles out of El Paso before we started getting a mist and a little water on the road. Seventy-five miles into it we stopped at the Golden Corral in Alamogordo for some good ole fashion vittles. Chuck left at this point; he had to get back to leave for Houston. From there we headed to Cloud Croft, getting chilly and a little wetter. About another twenty-five miles and an elevation of 7000 feet, we were chilly and wet. This was a good time to consume more Coffee for the riders and, a little window shopping at the local shops. Now for the fun part departing Cloud Croft we headed to our destination of Sun Spot. That’s a laugh. It started raining harder and, getting colder. Thankfully, everyone was smart enough to bring appropriate clothing. As we climbed to over 9000 feet, the rain got harder, it had ice (yes ice) mixed into it and the temp dropped to a sultry 52 degrees. I don’t know about the other riders but, I was losing traction on the road, I could feel my rear tire breaking loose in the turns and, there were plenty of turns. Fortunately, we kept our speed down. Once we arrived at the Sun Observatory at Sun Spot, we were above the clouds and received another down pour for at least an hour. We talked the attendant into making a pot of coffee for us and, we thanked him and paid him. Finally, the rain let up enough for us to leave. We didn’t see any sun but, we did experiment with an infrared device which showed all your hot spots. Some of them were in some interesting places. Riding back to Cloud Croft, we received more rain, as if we weren’t wet enough already. Getting back to Cloud Croft, we invaded a little pizza shop. When we first went in, we did get the ole; “God, here comes a bunch of bikers” look. But once there, they realized we were human. Rob Mote didn’t make the trip to Sun Spot with us. He went to look at some property so, he was nice and clean and not wet. Making us all feel better, Rob, very professionally rolled in a mud puddle. Now here’s a Captain in the U.S. Army. Do I need to say any more on that? And our Director, to get warm, stuck his head in the pizza oven. Hmm; sausage or pepperoni in the ears.

Before leaving to return, we took a vote for everyone there to be entered in the “Wet Butt” Association and, the Chapter account will pay for patches. The return trip didn’t go without rain. Go figure that. Coming down the mountain from Cloud Croft, we hit more rain but, what could we see in front of us; could it be clearing sky? Yes it was, so at the gas point, several riders took off their wet weather gear. Wrong answer for that one, as we headed back to El Paso we kept watching the one, huge, black cloud. So back on with the wet weather gear and, did we ever get dumped on. It was like it was Mother Nature’s last hurrah. It was torrential. So bad, water got up under my helmet and I couldn't see a damn thing. Once we got through it, I had to flip up my face shield and stand up, at highway speeds, to dry off my glasses. Finally we made it back and, everyone had a great time, even with all the rain. So, as we always say when it rains, snows, ices or hails--this ride became official.

Oxman - New York - It was September 2002 and the forcast called for "rain" for the return trip....of course. We weren't sure if we should ride or drive ya see, it was 350 miles.... each way. We had two novice riders who never road in the rain. One of them was on his first bike. There were 5 of us. One chicken'd out and drove...lucky him... and us... 'cause he carried the gear. (ha, ha). After much hemming and hawing... the four of us saddled up and what an awesome ride, 80 degrees and sunny. We arrived at the 3 day music festival around 4, set up camp, opened a beer and had fun. And forgot ALLLLL about the rain. Saturday night rolled around and as the last bands were finishing up, my brother and I realized we were floating from the torential rains, good thing I had an air matress. My brother went to the wimp's truck, the one who drove, lucky him... and us, he carried the beer. (woo, who!). At daybreak I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to sleep in.. yeah right. Everything was soaked through and the air ran out of my matress. F'ing Murphy. We sloshed to the food stand, got a really bad cup jo and pondered our long ride home. The forcast called for two days of rain and we had to get home... wives with rolling pins except for Howard, he drove lucky him. (ha, ha). We broke camp at 9:00 in search of good coffee and fuel. We new it was going to be a long one. We had to go from the Lake Placid area to Suffolk County Long Island, New York. It's FAR! Hit the road at 9:30 and we had a little hope, the rain fell to a drizzle. About 100 miles in, the rain heavy at times, but warm, wasn't so bad... we needed to gas up. Left the rest stop... TERENTIAL! No more hope... 250 miles to go... We were into it then, the bikes handled great even though we couldn't SEE. We were soaking wet but warm except for Howard, lucky him (ha, ha). He was dry but was still there, he kept us alive in our underwear, wet as they were. Good thing for bandana's and underpasses 'cause I think we hit most of them and if you've ever road in the rain without a bandana, you know what I'm talking about... razor blades hitting your cheeks. It got dark and cold at the Tappan Zee bridge and from there.... IT SUCKED even more!! I thought it was sucking before, but I was mistaking. Not only was it COLD and POURING, but did you ever drive through Manhattan on a dry day? Try it in the rain, at night, soaked, cold, blind, and on a bike, F'ing Howard, he was dry and laughing. We stopped at an underpass on Long Is. about a half hour from home, it was 8:00 PM... NASTY!! Still POURING!! Seriously....still Pouring... we have pictures. Lucky Howard, he was driving. We just wanted it to be over at this point. That half hour felt like eternity. We had to get back on the bikes, so close so far. One of the guys just left, he was done. When we turned on to our block, nothing felt so good, pulled off my 90 pound leather jacket and took a hot bath. More water, Ha ha, but warm. Ya know what? I'd do it again in a heart beat. George, John, Dean, Russ & Howard.... he was dry, at least he brought the beer.

knucklegg - AL - My boyfriend and I had planned to go shopping in a town about 35 minutes from where we live. We had only known each other for a short time then, and I was totally addicted to riding on the back of his Honda. (I hadn't yet learned to ride my own at that time.) I begged him to take the bike, even though the weatherman was giving a chance of rain that afternoon. And after a year and a half, I still haven't lived it down. We had just about finished and were thinking of heading home, when it started to rain. Ok, so we'll get sprinkled on a little... no big deal.. right? We stopped and shared his rain suit... I had the top, he had the bottom, and off we went. Suddenly the skies darkened... the rain was torrential... and thunder started booming overhead! In only a few seconds we were soaked to the skin. We stopped at a red light and I asked, "Shouldn't we find a place to go inside until this storm blows over?" Of course, I was ignored. Then, sitting there at that light, it happened. Anyone ever wonder what would happen if you were on your bike and lightening struck something near you? I, as the passenger, had both feet on the passenger pegs... so I didn't feel a thing. The Cowboy, however, had both feet on the ground.... and both hands on the handlebars, holding onto both the brake lever and the clutch lever. He got zapped. Looking back on it now it seems kind of funny.. but at the time it was quite scary.
 
After that we both thought it would be best to stop somewhere. So we chose the Krispy Kreme Doughnut Shop.... how convenient. Delicious doughnuts, good coffee, and it was warm!!! We stayed there until the rain had mostly subsided, then mounted back up and headed home... where it hadn't rained one single drop!!!! Go figure.